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On the sixth day of Christmas...

...My truelove gave to me:

Blue Wizard Is About to Die: Prose, Poems, and Emoto-Versatronic Expressionist Pieces About Video Games 1980-2003


King Of Plumbers; cartoon hands
white gloves, a psychotic
jumping thing made of big
slabs of solid color punctuated
by black lines, giving him features;
old hand... old hand... the savior
of the princess, hero of the mushroom kingdom,
commander of the psychotic and useless power of Yoshi,
a creature so dumb and pointless that,
only you, my little mustachioed Italian freak,
would dare punch it in the back of the head,
as if to say
"ready the tongue!
prepare to fire!"

mounted like a monkey on a dog at a rodeo;
you bastard, sent him - after jumping - to his death,
using his doomed back for leverage.

Jump those pits, flee into the safety
of the green pipes, spit those shells,
send up the flag at every castle in the kingdom,
for, I, the liberator, the conquering Italian hero,
have returned, again and again and again;
we’re going to make millions doing this!
you and me, kid, millions.

Shopping at the remaindered bookstore again, eh Sweety? Well, that's okay. It's perfect.


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