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Very Sithapointed*

The short review

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. With a bigger budget. And worse dialog.

The longer review

My wife and I didn't want to hate this movie. We saw both of the other first trilogy movies in the theatres and -- unlike most people -- actually enjoyed them. Sure, they were a little hokey. And had bad acting. And had Jar-Jar Binks. But... okay okay, we didn't like them that much either...

But we didn't hate them. And the buzz for this latest chapter is that it's pretty good. And it could have been pretty good. The overall plot is great; if I were to describe what happens you would find it hard to imagine that anyone could mess it up. It's got intrigue, action, drama, suspense, and characters wrestling with the moral choices. With the piles of money they had to invest in this thing, it's inconceiveable that they'd mess it up.

But they did. Or he did actually -- I get the feeling that George Lucas smothered this movie with his massive ego. The movie has a feeling of being just stuffed with self-importance. Everything has the tone of being so weighty and deep -- when really it's just fluff. Maybe some others were able to get into the spirit of the thing, but whenever some deeply over-important statement was made over the sweeping over-important music... we just had to laugh.

We probably weren't the best people to sit next to during the movie because we did a fair amount of jeering and sniggering. The terrible, terrible lines. The terrible, terrible acting. The overblown and incomprehensionable special effects. They were funny, but not funny enough. And the final showdowns at the end were just ridiculous. Yoda bouncing around like a green ping-pong ball and some of the oldest one-on-one fighting clichés you've ever seen -- except with lava.

This movie had too much fake Orff-like choral music, too many bad lines that made you wince, way too many light sabre duels, and not enough fun. And it dragged! If I was watching it at home, I probably would have turned it off out of boredom. Oh well, maybe they'll learn some lessons from this one and fix the series for Episode VII...

Oh, and the political metaphor some people have been talking about? It was there, but not in any way that was distracting. Sure, the way Palpatine turned a democracy into a dictatorship by luring a one of his enemies into his fold seemed familiar, but Belinda Stronach is not really a powerful force like Anakin, just a convenient one. And Paul Martin probably can't blast those cool blue lighting bolts from his fingers either.

*Official Episode III Bad Pun number 89. Collect all 231!


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