The Teletubbies Rock

The other day I made an excursion to Wal-Mart to find some kid-vid that will allow me to immobilize my offspring for a half-hour when I need a break. We turned off our satellite feed a few months ago (because we weren't watching anything), but now the kids are at an age when they can watch and follow a simple show. The selection wasn't good. Lots of Disney hyper-kinetic smart-ass animals, some cheap licenced cartoon character junk, and some over-priced Blue's Clues and Dora the Explorer (Swiper, no Swiping! I love that line.). I'm not prepared to pay $10 for 30 minutes of video. I bought some Rolie Polie Olie tapes because they were cheap, Lileks swears by them, and I'd seen one episode before and thought it was pretty good.

But they weren't good for Max and Talia. Too much movement, too much assumed knowledge, too hard to figure out. They lost interest pretty quickly. Maybe in a year they'll appreciate them.

The only kid-vid I've been able to find for their stage of development is the Teletubbies. (Possibly they might like Barney, but I don't think I'd be able to take it. It will not enter this house.) I haven't been able to find any tapes or DVDs for sale anywhere, but Opa records them for us and brings them over.

If you haven't watched any Teletubbies before, you would probably be shocked at how bizarre and surreal the show is. These four pudgy creatures (right to left), Tinky Winky, Dipsy, LaaLaa, and Po, live in a strange, hyper-modern, partially-underground house where they are taken care of by machines. They don't need much care, but there are machines to provide their tubbie-toast and tubbie-custard, and a sentient vacuum cleaner, the Noo-Noo, that cleans up. Outside their home is an idyllic pasture with rabbits and flowers, and overlooking it all is the sun, which is a baby's face. Not much happens in an episode: the Teletubbies run around, eat, fall down, giggle, hug each other, march, and dance. The music is wonderful, and there's no singing! Once in every episode the giant pinwheel starts spinning and triggers one of the Tubbies to play a short film on his or her tummy. These are quick little vignettes of children in a simple setting doing things like hanging laundry or riding tricycles. Seeing the film once isn't enough for the Teletubbies though, they demand to see it again, and so the same film is shown once more. All this is bracketed by the extended opening and closing sequences (which are the same every episode) consisting of the Teletubbies waving. And waving and waving and waving.

For a one-year-old, this is the perfect entertainment. They are absolutely riveted by everything that happens. They laugh when the Tubbies chase each other around, wave when they are waved at, and are fascinated by the kids building sand castles or playing in a box. Talia has said "ta-ta" for Teletubbies for a few weeks now, and now Max's third word -- after "Mama" and "aht" -- is "ta-ta". He'll get around to saying Papa sometime, I'm sure of it.