A schizophrenic reviews the movies

I was cruising through Imdb, looking into whether I should take my kids to that new monkey movie (I will) when I came across a strange review. It started out normal, but then lurched into some very strange territory:

After I previously talked about a message from my artificial intelligence computer on a real Moon in the Creators Moonfleet involving Foreigners on a moon ramp there was a staged meeting involving me on a highway on ramp with a possible pretend foreigner. When my television shows the words for the show Star Daily the words Star David are heard. This is after three different cable guy/internet visits to the wiring in my backyard. The Canadian dirty tricks guys were used when the Liberals were in power and they are still being used now that the Conservatives are in power. Let me sum up. I really am the American Shadow Vice President. The American Shadow President Jack Kennedy is my boss. I really am the full nephew of Queen Elizabeth 2 Windsor that is why I am not in jail for allegedly making false statements. In 1945 President Franklin Roosevelt sent the following message to Earths moon. "A pal Moon? Know You Boone? Whos your Friend? Back again?" I am the Daniel Boone relative made the American Shadow Vice President due to contact with the Creators of Humans. President Jack Kennedy is the American Shadow President because he was always having trouble with his back after football and the sinking of PT 109. I am the 8th Highest ranking Human in the Universe representing Love (through offspring reproduction) to the Creator Ki Aliens while my Daughter Julia is the 19th highest ranking Human in the Universe representing Peace (through conquest of the Universe) to the Creator Ki Aliens. God will notice and probably be displeased if there are continued assassination attempts on His/Her Love and Peace namely Julia and me Brad.

I thought this was pretty funny, but assumed it would be deleted pretty quickly. I'm sure Imdb doesn't want people adding to their reviews with completely off-topic jibberish.

But I was wrong. Checking his user history, I see there are 98 other reviews by him on the site, most of them trailing off into stories from a bizarre alternate reality. Many of the reviews are for obscure war films that have specific meaning for himself, but others are on mainstream flicks. Some of them even seem almost normal. But others reach heights of strangeness I haven't seen outside William S. Burroughs or Philip K. Dick. My wife and I have been trying to figure out if he's a real looney or just doing a pretty good impression. We're leaning towards real.

Oh, and he claims to have once been in the Canadian Military and lives in St Catharines, Ontario. Watch out for him at the theatre if you live nearby.

Posted by Bruce Gottfred at March 2, 2006 07:54 PM | TrackBack